At hospital waiting......

I was picked up this morning by a fabulous chap called Ricky. He kept me well entertained for the 2.5 hour journey to the hospital - we talked for the whole time :).

I am now sitting in my private room listening to the bleating sheep in the field that my room overlooks. I have had bloods taken, given a urine sample and seen my surgeon to sign consent forms. I am second on the surgery list and should be going down about 13.30.

My nurse has told me she will let me know when the woman who is first on the surgery list is taken down so I can shower and get into the gown and surgical stockings they supply (I have opted to wear my own 100% cotton knickers).

Wish me luck x

Surgery tomorrow..........

I will be picked up, by a driver called Ricky, between 7am and 7.30am tomorrow morning. I have been told not to eat after midnight (although I ate my dinner 2 hours ago and won't eat anything else) and to be 'nil by mouth' from 8am.

I am all packed and ready to go. Husband is dreading tomorrow - he is staying home with our children and our puppy. I will keep him updated via FaceTime.

I was quite anxious yesterday (mainly waiting for the phonecall from my provider, which I received at 4.30pm, to tell me the info in the first paragraph) yet today I have been very calm. I slept really well last night and I am hopeful of a similarly good sleep tonight.

I'll update tomorrow (hopefully).......




PS In terms of pre-op weight loss I have lost, in 5 weeks & 4 days, 1st 8lb (22lbs) and 3.5" from my waist

I told my mum about the op yesterday...

Yesday I went to see my mum and she invited husband and I to a dinner party on NYE. My lack of immediate response made her assume I had made other plans - this made her look hurt :(. I thought about accepting her offer, knowing I would have to cancel saying I was unwell on 31st, but that would be deceitful and unfair . I also realised that I very much want to be with my parents to see in New Year . My mum has been gravely ill this year and in February / March it looked unlikely that she would be with us into 2012. So I told her about the op planned for 30th.....

I cannot tell you all how much better I feel with her knowing :). She has reservations of course (she's had her fair share of surgery this year, and lots of post surgery complications :(, and the thought of undergoing it voluntarily is not one she relishes for me).

Now, although I know I will probably not feel 100%, I am happily anticipating spending New Year with my parents because they will know I had surgery, the day before, and will be able to make allowances. It will also be possible for me to be 'all liquid' without causing serious offence to my mum who is the best cook!

I cannot believe I was planning on 'avoiding' my parents over New Year - given the awfulness of 2011 I cannot wait to see in 2012 with my wonderful mum and to thank the universe that she is still there to 'disapprove' (a bit) of my choice to undergo gastric surgery.

Here's to 2012 and to mum's everywhere xx

12 days pre-op

I thought I might mention the changes I have made since deciding to lose the weight forever (fingers crossed).

1) I have quit diet coke (meaning I now only drink water and the occasional cup of hot chocolate - low calorie of course);

2) I have stopped eating chocolate - FOREVER!

3) I have significantly reduced the carbs I consume (no bread, potatoes, pasta, rice, sugar, deserts etc...);

4) I am drinking 6+ pints of water per day


I have lost 1st 3lbs, and 3" off my waist, in the last 4 weeks :). That's 17lbs I don't need to worry about post-op.



As well as the weight loss I have noticed other benefits:

1) I have to pee much less often, much less urgently and my bladder control has improved a lot (phew);

2) I have more energy and feel much less sluggish;

3) I am able to get out of bed in a morning with relative ease (previously I hit 'snooze' repeatedly when the alarm sounded);

4) my skin is much clearer, smoother, and more healthy looking;

5) I do not have cravings anymore (hurrah);

6) I actually enjoy my food more and I take more care in preparing and consuming it (I don't treat myself like a human dustbin like I used to);

7) I leave food that I am not enjoying (I actually left 3/4 of a meal in a restaurant earlier in the week because it wasn't great - previously I would probably have eaten it fast to 'get rid of it' :/)

Consultation with The Hospital Group

My choice of provider was largely, although not solely, governed by cost. My consultation was on 27th November and very basic. I met a surgeon (not as it turned out my surgeon) and he explained the procedure weighed and measured me. Alarmingly the measure in room was inaccurate by 2.75". It measured me at 5'4", I had always believed I was closer to 5'7". I protested and the surgeon was willing to concede that I was probably 5'6" and that is what he wrote on my records. Husband measured me when I got home and I am 5' 6.75". The difference in the height measurements put my BMI at 42 instead of the accurate figure of 38!


Mr Richardson (the consultant I met with) said he was confident that the band would be ideally suited to me. He claimed he rarely said this to patients but felt confident that I would lose and maintain my weight with the aid of the band because of my weight loss history. Probably he says that to all the girls ;).


I then met with my patient co-ordinator. This was basically an opportunity for me to ask any questions I still had (I had none), to talk through the pre-op diet, make a time for me to have a phone consultation with a nurse, and to book my operation. In order to qualify for the £500 off offer that THG are offering I needed to have surgery before the end of the year; unfortunately, however, all of Mr Richardson's surgeries were booked up. I was therefore booked in with another surgeon (Mr David Hewin) on 30th December.


Since then I have spent a lot of time on this fabulous fourm; if you are reading this and considering bariatric surgery I highly recommend it to you.

Why a band and why now continued................

In November I decided enough is enough. I had regained all of the weight I had lost (and some) and I couldn't fit into most of my clothes. I was reduced to wearing the only three outfits that I could squeeze into whilst two wardrobes full of lovely clothes, that I had no hope of wearing, stood taunting me. I realised that I was at very high risk of developing obesity related conditions and I was beginning to feel the strain of the excess weight on my joints. I had become so ashamed of my body I avoided being naked in front of my husband and I saw, or at least thought I saw, repulsion in his face when he looked at me (or maybe it was the repulsion I felt that I projected onto his face). Needless to say our sex life was suffering, when he touched me I felt my fat against his hand and I hated it.


I knew I simply had to do something and telling myself 'the diet starts tomorrow' (after I have stuffed my face today) was not working (apparently)! Although I have successfully lost weight in the past, like 95% of people who do so, I have never managed to maintain that loss. I am hopeful that a gastic band will help me lose my excess weight and help me to maintain my lower weight once I achieve it.


So I bit the bullet and contacted The Hospital Group......

Why a band and why now?

When I was basking in the glory of having lost 5.5st (in 2009) I remember my husband asking me (whilst we were watching some documentary about bariatric surgery) if I could ever imagine being so desperate that surgery would seem like the only option for weight loss. I told him I definitely could and that I would have a gastic band fitted the next day if I thought I would be permitted to do so (with my being officially considered only slightly 'overweight' at the time I would not qualify for the procedure). Even then, when I was happy with my weight, and determined that I would never see 13st again, let alone 17st, I thought like a fat person. Inside I knew I was a fat person masquerading as a non-fat person and it was only a matter of time until the charade would be over.


Don't get me wrong I didn't want to put weight back on; I gave all of my clothes to charity shops and sold a few on EBay (I reasoned that if I had no bigger clothes I couldn't possibly put weight!) I was swimming a mile most days and desperately trying to eat less. I was eating a very low carb diet as much as I could bear but I inevitably fell off the wagon and whenever I did I fell hard!


My old trouble had tripped me up again: I was once more happy and content. I had left the job that was making me miserable and set up my own business. My business was doing better than I could possibly have predicted and I was using some of the money to make improvements to my home - new bathrooms and kitchen (amongst other bits and pieces). I love being at home and my new kitchen (and more importantly my new range oven) gave me ample encouragement and opportunity to bake and bake I did. Homemade deserts, muffins, cakes, sausage rolls and bread became constantly available - I loved making them and because they were there I ate them.....

The serious yo yoing of the past 10 years.........

So, I was in a new relationship, and I was happy and content. There in, I think, lies the problem (or one of them at least) I associate eating with being happy and content and not eating with misery and stress. When I lost so much weight, in such a short time, after my first marriage ended I found the fact that people kept telling me how amazing I looked to be totally incongruous (I felt anything but 'amazing'). Now I was happier than I had ever been and I revelled in cooking for, and eating with, my man. We both put on a lot of weight over the next 8 years. In 2008 I was very unhappy in my work (my new boss was nothing short of a tyrant) and I learned that my husband had engaged in a minor indiscretion with an old female friend via FaceBook. I was miserable again. I decided to lose weight. And lose weight I did - 5.5st to be precise. I lost it on the Cambridge diet. A few weeks after I started losing weight my husband decided he would too - he went the more conventional route of eating more healthily and getting more exercise. He lost over 7 stone; and he has kept it off too (I'm so proud of him). Me? I kept it off for little under a year before piling it all back on again (and a couple of extra pounds for good measure).

How did I get to this point......?

I have 'struggled' with my weight since my daughter was born 18.5 years ago. I wasn't overweight as a child and I was slim in my early teens. After my daughter was born I felt 'fat'. Looking back I wasn't (I was wearing size 12 jeans) but since then (age 18/19) I have perceived myself as needing to lose weight. Before that point food didn't really bother me that much - I ate of course but - it certainly didn't consume me and my every waking moment. Over the years the weight piled on. I tried every diet going - cabbage soup was particularly memorable (the more you eat the thinner you will get was the sensational claim!) - and I lost a few pounds here and there but nothing significant and nothing permanent. When I was 26 my first husband left me very unexpectedly. I coped wonderfully (everyone said so) by stopping eating - COMPLETELY (I was drinking water and managing a mouthful of chicken noodle soup every few days - I could not swallow anything more than that). Over the next six weeks (that's how long I did not eat for)the weight fell off me. Other than the 'not eating thing' I appeared, to the outside world at least, to be coping and everyone said how 'amazing' I was looking; my weight dropped from 15st 7lbs to 12st in a little over 3 months. 5 months after my first marriage ended I met my second husband - the love of my life (to this day). I was a size 12 and in love. I felt desirable, alive and healthy for the first time in along time - I wouldn't sabotage all of that surely.........?

Hippos are my favourite wild animal but I am fed up of feeling like one!!