Ambivalent?

Hello everyone :)

I'm struggling a bit....

I'm 12lbs (ish) from my goal weight. In the past two weeks I have, subconsciously I think, increased the amount I am eating.


The result is my weight loss has stopped (I'm doing the 2lb shuffle).


I have had 'a word' with myself today and I realise I am somewhat ambivalent about losing the last 12lbs.  I'm 5' 7" (size 8 feet) and have always been curvy (currently 41 - 29 - 41) and I think I fear losing my curves  :/   I am now size 12-14.


My ambivalence wonders about BMI (currently 26) as a measure of what is healthy and points out that my waist / hip ratio (currently 0.7) is considered healthy!  Then my bloody ambivalence *evil*  says "ah but why wouldn't you want a normal BMI and to reach your goal....?"


And..........I fear that my ambivalence could be eminating from my internal saboteur  - the part of me that has failed at every diet I have ever attempted. It is not, I am sure, irrelevant that 11st 12lbs (my current weight) is the lightest I have weighed as an adult (I have got here before and then eaten my way all the way back to 17.5st!).


It has helped me get some perspective writing this lot down xx

Bx